You got to do what you got to do!

It was 6 in the morning and I woke up with a funny headache that made me want to go back to sleep but at the same time, didn’t let me. I made myself a cup of strong coffee and sat down at my window with a book and a pen. Ahh! I thought it would make the perfect team – morning, coffee, book, pen, and a bunch of thoughts to pen down. I couldn’t be more wrong as nothing helped me with any thoughts and words. It was as if I didn’t know what writing was. It was as if words were upset with me for some reason and refused to make any sort of eye contact.

Considering this denial of friendship as some kind of writer’s block, I moved on to see how beautiful my neighborhood looked with the sun flaunting its light to wish the birds, flowers,trees, and us a lovely morning. The sky looked peaceful, and the breeze felt cozy. Sip after sip, the morning vibe started sinking into my soul, and a splash of freshness gradually took away the headache.

The moment I finished my coffee, a sparrow happened to visit me. She greeted me with some cheerful chirps, and kept hopping from one end of my window to another. This went on for good 5-10minutes. I didn’t really understand what was happening, but the act continued. After a while, I stood up to keep my coffee mug in the kitchen. When I returned, I saw the sparrow sitting right where I sat earlier. There was a plate with her food in it, which I was unaware of. She knew it because that was her routine. It was her time to eat and she did all that she could to explain me about it all.

I watched her have her breakfast, while also thinking about something that I was running away from. A little sparrow taught me something that day –

You got to do what you got to do. Not everyone will understand what and why you’re doing something. Not everyone will feel it important to know about your feelings and your ways of dealing with them. But, only because they don’t understand, doesn’t mean you shouldn’t do it. You have to stick to your ways of getting through something. Had the sparrow given up on making me understand that she was there to have her meal, she wouldn’t have been able to have her treats. I did not understand her way, but she still made it through. And that is what counts.

I don’t know what struck me then, but I immediately opened the book and started writing –

Every time I see and hear you laugh, I kid you not, my heart cringes a little…..

Ahh! I guess the words are ready to look right into my eyes. And oh! These words! The way they look at you.

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My Portrait of Love

The breeze.

The sun.

The moon.

And the stars.

There’s nothing less beautiful and less attractive than the portrait I painted in the name of love. But, there’s still something more magical in my version of beauty and allure. There’s a strangely unusual tinge of something I could call mine.
The breeze is gentle, but the picture I drew flaunts a wild world with jealousy and stubbornness.

The sun spells sophistication, but my imagination smiles with silliness and insanity.

The moon is calm as sleep, but I often find myself falling for the chaotic minds and messy souls.

And the stars!?

Oh! The stars!

They embrace me in their unavoidable twinkles, but I tend to be mesmerized by the cozy warmth of my own thoughts.

Yes! They shine too, but in my funny ways.

Be selfish, jealous, and greedy in love.

We’re all, at some point, taught that it is absolutely wrong to be selfish, jealous, and greedy. Yes! It also works at some level because these emotions drag you to the negative sides of life, and we surely don’t want to see ourselves anywhere near that dark side. But, I don’t completely believe in these cliche rules. You know why? Because these emotions work perfectly fairly when it comes to love. And, if someone is simply living by the rules of love, I would say it is important to be selfish, to be jealous, and to be greedy in love. Yeah yeah I know love is supposed to be selfless and all. But, hey!! There’s no rule book that restricts us to follow them. Loving someone brings along a tinge of jealousy. It’s a part of love and you cannot get rid of that feeling. And when you live to love, you feel the need to be loved and being selfish then is normal. There’s nothing wrong in wanting to be loved. And, my friend, greed is love’s way to tell you that you’re human. You cannot stay away from loving someone and being loved, and that’s exactly why you can’t stay away from these feelings. They’re not bad. They’re not negative. They don’t make you a bad person. They only make you more human. Don’t run away from these kind of emotions. They make you love the right way. Live them just like you live love.

Growing up.

Life is all about growing up. As we turn older every year, we get a hook of our responsibilities, duties, and everything that’s linked with growing up. Growing up didn’t come easy to me. Everyone had a different version of it. Some said it’s important to learn to let go off things as you grow up, while some said it’s important to learn to hold on to things as you grow up. Some taught me to preach silence as I grew up, while some explained me how essential it is to speak up for myself as I grew up. Some told me to stick to my beliefs as I grew up, and some told me to forget to fantasy my childhood thoughts as I grew up. Some made me believe that love exists while I grew up, and some shattered my faith in fairy tales while I grew up. Some taught me to free myself from my responsibilities, while some expected me to be more responsible. Some told me to grow up, while some told me to keep the child in me alive. Growing up didn’t really come easy to me. It had a lot to say and it hid a lot in its silence. It screamed of flying with freedom, but cried buckets of tears for having its wings Ioaded with the tag of an older age. Growing up is a trap, and I refused to grow up their way. I do not wish to grow up with practicality that makes my heart feel good for nothing. I do not wish to grow up with boxes of emotions that would stop my brain from thinking any further. Instead, I would let my heart and brain, both, do their bit whenever they need to. Know that growing up is not just about learning one emotion and following it. It’s about knowing the importance of modifying yourself according to situations and still love people for the way they are. Growing up is accepting, while we love. Growing up is growing to be a better version of our own self. Growing will never be an easy job, unless we do it our own way. Listen to the world while they share their experiences, but you got to have an upgraded version of growth. Because there’s no time limit for growing up. You’re going to grow up every single day of your life. So, why not do it differently!?

Open your arms and try letting it go.

Somedays, try letting go off that one thing or person or feeling that you think you are addicted to. It will be a hell of a day to stay away from your addiction, but it is important. You should never let the things you love become an addiction to your existence. Addiction creates negativity and leads you to nothing but disappointment and frustration. It surely gives you happiness, but if only you’ve heard of the term, ‘temporary’. Love should never become an addiction. The moment you sense it turning into addiction, give it some space. Space from the constant togetherness. Space from the connection. Space from everything that ties you up to something that hurts. Give it some space and let the charm of love breathe. Let it breathe the joy of its existence and let there be a tinge of missing. Let the value of that love stay as it always has. Try letting go off that one thing or person that you are used to be with every moment. It can be anything, your favorite video game or your best friend, your cell phone or your better half. If nothing, this will surely make you strong and hold you when that one thing or person is gone. Excess of anything, be it love or hatred, can be dangerous to every breath you breathe. Somedays, just let go, and let everything be.

To my best friend.

“This too shall pass”, I told myself every time I missed her call.

“This too shall pass”, she told herself every time I wasn’t online when she wanted to tell me something really important.

We’ve come a long way and there’s still a long ‘to-do’ list that we wish to live with each other. Moreover, there’s another list of things that we miss doing with each other. But, there’s also a life and a routine that we cannot leave out on.

Calls. Messages. Hugs. Kisses. Talks. Conversations. Laughs. Secrets. There’s always a lot more, than just these, in the store for when we have a best friend. There’s a cupboard full of gifts, a drawer with uncountable letters, and a treasure box loaded with the little things that made our bond prettier than ever. More than anything, there are two hearts overwhelmed with every little gesture done by god to make sure we met each other.

We all know the importance of every relation in our lives. No one can tell us their values more than we can. So why am I up to writing this little piece in the name of my best friend? Why suddenly did I choose to pen down something about her? Nothing really.

It so happened that I have been so used to seeing my bestie every once in a month that this time when I didn’t see her in more than 40 days, my mind refused to not think of her and heart immediately cried a little. No! It’s not like I haven’t spoken to her in a while or we fought over something. No! Only life happened. Routine happened. And unfortunately, everything took over the time we could’ve put aside for each other. Last night while talking to her over messages, I sensed I watery fellow on my face. It peeped out from my eyes and had a nice roller coaster down my cheeks. That’s when I realized how much I had missed her all this time.

So, all I want to let my piece of heart know is that –

I don’t know what the scene with your heart is, but mine is missing you insanely. I don’t know what the scene with your mind is, but mine is only thinking about the times we were constantly with each other. I don’t know what you’re up to, but I can’t stop missing you and we’ve got to do something about it as soon as possible. Calls and messages are fine, but I need to get a dose of your laughter just to release the hilarious amount of stress stacked up in my head. The to-do list and all will be managed, but I really need to see you again to get a break from all the unwanted faces around me. Meet me right around the corner of the ‘No Time’ zone, when everyone is busy writing those silly articles, so we can laugh with just each other over a cup of hot coffee. I know the missing part is extremely annoying, but trust me, this too shall pass. Hey, bestie, I’m here to stay 😊

Ego.

Ego is a big word. It is spelled in less than a second, but it takes a lifetime to understand how heavy and unnecessary this three-letter word is. A life-long relationship falls apart and the eyes keep staring. The heart dies with an urge to break the silence, but ego often weighs more. The stomach may cringe of hunger, but ego insists on teaching the art of starving. One day your soul would wish to cuddle in the warmth of old friends one more time, but ego may stop you from initiating the reunion. Ego has a huge role to play in everyone’s life. It walks hand-in-hand while you’re running errands. It stays along while the world leaves. But, it’s for you and me to know how dangerous it would be to live with this fierce fellow. It’ll eat you up, and no one would know. It’ll shatter hearts, and there would be no sound. It’ll give you scars, but the world will stay unaware of them. Ego. It has nothing to do with “your’s”. It only teaches you to think and talk about “you”. And this, my friend, is a disease no one can cure. Ego is the hero of its own movie, and, mind you, it plays its role fantastically. Ego is all about breaking, shattering, destructing, and losing. It only takes you to place where no flower blooms without a reason and nobody smiles without a purpose. Ego will save you from bending, but it will never manage to save you from falling. Ego will give you house with royal walls, but not a home with beautiful stories. Ego is a big word, my friend. Don’t fall in the trap of those three cute letters.